Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Even my vagina gasped.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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