Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
