I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
