I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
