oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
