Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
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I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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