its not stalking. its research.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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