remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
