"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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