ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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