Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
