We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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