We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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