I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
