I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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