I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm at about main and main street
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
