Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
