i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
