You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize