morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize