Reggie can tackle my bush.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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