It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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