dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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