a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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