I wish i was in the wii world.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
