she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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