They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
