im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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