Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I fill condoms, not promises.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize