I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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