Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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