She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
