can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
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laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
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I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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