Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
