Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
he just fucked me for my cheese..
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
