Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
