I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
