It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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