That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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