its not stalking. its research.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
