I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
