you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
