"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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