We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I understand Curling. That high.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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