The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
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I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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