Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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