i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize