I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
