so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
