forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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