worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
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In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
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MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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