I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize