Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
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You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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