Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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