I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
