I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
