How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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