im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
