11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
