it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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