Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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