Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
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This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
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I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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