I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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