You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize