Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I will be naked everywhere
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
