Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
as a side note pls kill me
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
