sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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