She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
