dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
